October 22, 2010


Today started off like any other - the Toads jumping out of their beds eager to start the day and get ready for school.   Sitting at the table, laughing and talking with each other, as I, June Cleaver whipped up a batch of pancakes to give the joys of my life a hot hardy breakfast before school...............

Yeah - right.   You all believed that right??   I think I was that delusional when I thought about life with my future kids.    So. Not. True.

I get up and get ready first (this includes showering, dressing, face, emptying the dishwasher, checking on any orders, folding laundry, oh wait and of course my 5 mile run on my treadmill & properly waking Mr. Toad).  I will leave you to figure out which things are most probably true in that last statement.   Then it is time to wake the toads.   J- Toad is first.   I literally pull him out of bed, stand him and send him off to the bathroom where he attempts to pee into the toilet with his eyes closed.   Then I brush his teeth (yes I still do cause he would brush them for 2 seconds and my dental hygenist totally appreciates that I still brush them - don't ya??).  Then I send him back to his room to put his uniform on (which was laid out the night before).

Now it is time for Z-Toad.   Z-Toad will WHINE and MOAN the whole time, kind of like a husband only shorter with a higher pitched voice.   The bathroom ritual is repeated with him as well but I wet his hair in the morning (his is naturally curly so because they shower the night before his hair looks like a brillo pad).   He HATES to brush his teeth so it takes like 5 minutes for him to get himself "ready" for me to brush them.  I send him off to get naked, put jammies in the washer, and then help him with his uniform.

Back to J-Toad who is now dressed...... like a hobo - the shirt is not tucked in - the collar is half in and half out - and the hair is a tangled mess.   I make J-Toad presentable.

Everyone now downstairs where the standard breakfast is toast with peanut butter (with the crust cut off for Z-Toad and LIGHTLY toasted or both toads will refuse to eat).   I then must say every 5 minutes "Eat your breakfast.  We have to leave."   Then they have about 15 mins. before I or carpool mom (who reads my blog - she is wonderful wonderful person!!) must leave. 

This morning Z-Toad decides to have a meltdown in the lego bin about not being able to bring toys to school.  Car pool mom is in the driveway waiting.... waiting..... waiting.   Z-Toad is still not getting out of the lego bin.   After a very calm discussion, Z-Toad gets out of the lego bin flinging lego's at me and across the room.   Yeah - not so good - that gets him a quick boof upside the head.  Z-Toad is just a touch melodramatic (from his father's side) and that starts the water works.  I take him out to carpool mom - he is not happy - I am not happy - carpool mom has "oh shit" look on face.   Although Z-Toad is able to stop crying long enough to show carpool mom (who is our dental hygenist) his missing tooth.

I phone car pool mom to check on him.   Car pool mom has already pumped the little one for all the info but he would not rat me out .  J-Toad was more than happy to volunteer info that Z-Toad was a brat and mom boofed him.   Car pool mom says that maybe he should be a good boy (cause carpool mom rocks and has my back).   Everyone is laughing when they are dropped off in the schoolyard at like 8:40.  The bell rings at 8:50.

My phone rings at 9:01 and I see the name of the school on my called ID.   OMG - I think did Z-Toad tell someone that mom boofed him upside the head and the school is calling????   Friggin' do-gooders.   Wait till I see him.  Crap.  I pick up the phone and it is the nurse.   She says Z-Toad got hurt from 2 kids chasing him but he should be fine to stay in school they will watch him for any sign of a concussion.  Um- yeah - no - I go to pick him up.

It looks pretty bad.  He says a couple of his brother's classmates were at fault.  Apparently there is a game called "roll you over" where kids with rollers on their backpacks try to roll them up and over another kid.  Doesn't that sound nice??   The principal takes Z-Toad to the classroom to find out who was at fault.   Once at the classroom the principal asks J-Toad who did this to his brother.  J-Toad actually RATS OUT his friends!!!!!  This is huge people as J-Toad usually considers Z-Toad to be a lower life form.   So I high-five him for doing the right thing (not in the classroom!).

Z-Toad -my mush monster - says to him "J-Toad you mean you really do love me?".   J-Toad is now exasperated and most probably rethinking his decision to rat out the friends.  He finally admits that he loves his brother.   Of course Z-Toad does not know when to stop and says "So you love me but do you like me, J-Toad?"   Now J-Toad is completely done "mom make him stop".

Z-Toad also informed me that what happened was payback cause I boofed him that morning.   That made me feel like shit and it took car pool mom's thoughts to see the situation correctly.   Hey Z-Toad you know how you said it was payback?   "Yes - cause you were mean to me this morning" he says all indignant.   "Do you think it was payback for you being fresh?  Cause buddy I am not the one that got trampled by a backpack and fell on my face.  

Oh.  I'm sorry he says.



Unknown Mami said...

The joys of parenthood and brotherhood.

Anonymous said...

At least J did the right thing. My oldest thinks it's hilarious when anything bad happens to his brother.

Our mornings are about as fun as yours. Ain't life grand?