October 6, 2010

Brotherly Competition

J-Toad and Z-Toad are just 27 months apart.  They spend a majority - and by that I mean 99.8% - trying to out-do, out-compete, out-smart,  and out-love each other.  It is relentless and oh so tiring.  Well, um, at least it is exhausting for me, they seem to thrive on this crap.   Really when does it stop??

In all honesty, J-Toad is the oldest and because of such usually excels at things quicker than Z-Toad.  J-Toad is 9 going on his mid 40's.   He is ridiculously smart.   Scary smart.   He is very tiny -  not even on the 1% growth curve - tiny!  But his head size is over the 100% - we affectionately call him Jimmy Neutron :)  J-Toad excels in Karate - in Swimming - with the Computer - and at School.   And he likes to G L O A T.   Ugh.   Look I don't begrudge him his success but some humility with it would be nice.   You know the type of kid that when you tell them they did good they say "I know".   Nice, huh?   I SO don't like that and don't encourage it.

Z-Toad is younger and has a harder time at school.  When they go to swimming you can find Z-Toad cheering his brother on walking along the side of the pool.   When it is Z-'s Toad's turn you will find Jake sitting in the corner with his DS barely acknowledging Z-Toad's existence.

So this day they went Rock Climbing for the very first time.   And guess who went all the way up the wall TWICE???   Z-Toad.   I was so proud of him. J-Toad did NOT go up - barely made it a quarter of the way up.   In true J-Toad fashion he decided that he went just as high as Z-Toad cause his course up was that much harder.  UGH!  I told him no - he wasn't going to take this victory from Z-Toad.    His course was not harder - Z-Toad simply did better than him.   Not an easy lesson for him and definitely not easy as a parent.   Later that day Z-Toad went up for a second time - this time on the course that J-Toad didn't finish.  If that was J-Toad he would have been gloating from the rooftops.   Z-Toad told J-Toad to try again - it wasn't that hard - he would go up next to him.

Basically if the two of them were in a bad situation I have no doubt that Z-Toad would try to help his older brother but I am not so sure it would work the other way.    It seems just ingrained in Z-Toad.  How do I  ingraine it into the older one??



Anonymous said...

That sounds very familiar. My boys are SUPER competitive. It drives me nuts.

grimmgirl said...

Funny that I follow snuggle's comment -- we're buddies and our sons sound just like your sons! I have certainly learned with SuperBrain that he has a TOUGH time with failure and cannot take criticism AT ALL. The little, less scary smart one falls down, brushes off, will actually listen to direction, and do it again.