November 2, 2010

Some Funnies & {Gulp} Political Nonsense!

I am not in a particularly good mood today.   I took both kids for their yearly physicals.   Z-Toad asked the doctor why "he was playing with his balls?"  "And, how come his is so much bigger than his brothers?"  I in turn asked the pediatrician when the filter between his mouth and brain would mature.  The outlook was not good.  He is after all male.

Both boys are mainly fine.   J-Toad has to see a geneticist (he has some odd things) and an orthopedist for his feet/ankles.   Both children flunked their eye exams.  Nice.   We won't talk about the $400 we just spent on J-Toad's glasses like 6 months ago.   I told Mr. Toad that we should just get them dollar sign costumes for next year.  Oi.

To top it off I have this nasty cold/flu/virus thing that my lovely Z-Toad gave to me from one his snot-nosed little classmates.   I blamed him for my misery and I told him that.  So there - take that to therapy when you are older.  Z-Toad told me it was my own fault for loving him so much - too many hugs and kisses.  Huh.   Take a lesson mom's: even when doing the right thing we will be blamed. 

Now on to politics........ Cause today is the day to be heard (cough cough phlegm phlegm).   I am sick to death (no pun intended) of the stupid ads, sick of people posting little political gems on their facebook walls, sick of all the lunatics waving at me when I drive (I seriously considered swerving taking out a bunch of them).    Do they think that matters? If your decision making is based upon which lunatic can jump up and down the most or wave at you the most frantically - Dear God Please Do NOT Vote.  

And Do NOT robocall me.  Just DON'T do it.  Even if you are the candidate I like it makes me want to pluck my eyes out.    It would be interesting to see a study on how many people actually listen to the whole call - like maybe 1%.    Um, this should NOT be a government sponsored survey.   It is a joke.    If you are the moron who developed this telephonic nightmare - Dear God Please Do NOT Vote.

My candidate(s) sucks. period.  And so does yours.  Both have said sucky things, have done sucky things, and, guess what, will continue to do sucky things no matter what they say/do/act now.  You realize it is all just a game of who has done the least offensible things?  My candidate only cheated on his wife while yours cheated 1,000's out of money.   TIME OUT - both of you suck!   None of them can get where they are (read: monies) without owing various people / groups a myriad of things.   None of them give a rats ass about you or your family.   They all have skeletons - be careful about throwing stones cause they will be picked up and thrown right back. Cynical I know.  Are you stupid enough to believe that you will get a free house or anything else they promise if they are elected? Then Dear God Please Do NOT Vote.  

You are NOT a Democrat, Republican, Tea Party or whatever.   NO ONE can agree 100% with their party - NOT possible.   If you tell me you are 100% whatever than you are incapable of having a coherent thought on your own.   Everyone should be a registered Independent and NONE of the candidates should have a little symbol next to their name.  How about just a checklist of questions/answers from each of them?   Like when you want compare products on Amazon.    Even then I doubt you will not find a SINGLE candidate that you will agree 100%  of the time.   You picked your spouse cause you had so much in common - do you agree with them 100% of time??  And some of you have picked several spouses and been wrong every time.  Dear God Please Do NOT Vote.

If you vote Republican or Democrat based upon which animal you like the best.  Dear God Please Do NOT Vote. 

If you picked your candidate based only on what Glenn Beck has said, Dear God Please Do NOT Vote.

If you picked your candidate based upon the "comedic" satire of Joy Behar, Dear God Please Do NOT Vote.

Your politics will change over time - based upon your own life and what is most important to you at that time. I do not consider myself politically savvy - who the hell has the time?.  I catch what I can  and go from there.   I do believe that most people do not know exactly what they are.  They are either the political party of their parents or have been the same political party forever!  Political parties have changed/evolved over time and it may be time to get reacquainted with what exactly each stands for.  There are plenty of websites you can go to find out where you fall on the political spectrum.   Some of you will be surprised.  

I got 57% Republican and 43% Democrat.    I think it was pretty accurate:

I believe in smaller government (live by Keep It Simple Stupid. Bigger = more potential corruption)
Stop fucking around with my constitutional rights.  If you wander in my house at midnight it is my right to blow your head off.
Balance the damn budget (I can't spend more than what I earn so either should you).
Provide help to those who truly need it (do not make it more attractive to be a sloth).
Stop the profit driven Go Green campaign.
Ensure that everyone is treated fairly.
Adopt a flat tax so everyone pays the same amount. Period. No exemptions/deductions/loopholes.  Your welcome I just eliminated the IRS.
Drill for friggin oil off our shores.
Put up the damn windmills.
Let gay people get married.  Why shouldn't they suffer enjoy marriage like anyone in love?
Set Term Limits (to serve in office is suppose to be a altruistic not a way of lining your own pocket).
Protect this country - invest in the military.
If you are here and illegal - make yourself legal - work hard and enjoy the American dream.
Protect our borders.  A fence - a moat - a bubble - whatever just do it.
This is America - Buck the Fuck Up - Hard Work Should Be Rewarded.

If you want/expect a free ride, get the hell out.

Please, Dear God, exercise your right to be heard and VOTE!



Serene said...

Brilliantly said! I'm in total agreement.

Sorry you're under the weather. Hope you are feeling well soon.

Unknown Mami said...

I exercised my right. I can't stand the ads or political coverage in general.

Anonymous said...

I voted. We took the kids with us - even though they were saying nasty things about various politicians. I'm so glad the election is OVER. So sick of the ads and calls.