May 19, 2011

Don't Say I Give My Kids Nothing ........... Neurosis Is Something!

There is nothing worse on the news then stories about missing kids.   I am not someone who cries easily but bring on parents that are desperately looking for a lost child and I am in a puddle.

It should then come as no shock that my kids have heard their who lives - from the fetus people!! - about the evil people in the world just waiting to snatch them.   Don't trust anyone!!  They have heard the puppy scam stories.   They have been told to fight with every ounce they have in them because most times when a child is taken the outcome is tragic.   They have been told to yell, scream, punch, kick, bite, anything to make you not an easy target.   Do I think they listen?   Shit I hope so.   But they pretty much listen to nothing I say so what would make me think this would be different?

Am I neurotic?  Yes.   Do I live in a "bad" town?  Um - nope.   Do I know where the registered sex offenders live in my town?  Yes.    Two live one street over in the same house.    Is there a reason that we can't make them all live in some frozen wasteland to freeze to death?  Or if you believe the global warming idiots they can drown when it all melts.

Do I get made fun of by some relatives and friends about my neurosis?   Yes.   Do I care?  No.  They can suck it. 

Here in the Toadstool we have on the ID network most frequently.   Investigation Discovery.  It is all about true life murders and how the perp is eventually got.   It is fascinating to me.   In my next life I want to be a blood splatter analysis.   And, yes, I am HUGE Dexter fan.  I almost exclusively read detective/murder type books.

My two toads are also addicted to the station.  THEY turn to the station instead of cartoons.   There is pretty much no reason that J-Toad would EVER put down his I-pod but it always gets shut off as he gets sucked in to another story.   Do I have to explain some difficult words at times?   Yes.   Have I told them that some things need to be explained when they are older?  Most definitely.    We usually try to predict the outcome - whether or not we think they are guilty.   I have discovered that J-Toad thinks everyone is guilty and Z-Toad, sadly, may be a defense attorney (shudder).   If you are gonna have the balls to murder someone you ought to have the balls to own up to it. 

During these shows there are re-enactments.  Nothing ever too graphic - certainly nothing more than a movie you would see.   J-Toad, as fascinated as he is by the show, will always turn away pale as a ghost and wait until that part is over.   Z-Toad wants to know what make of gun, knife, etc..... that is being used.   I am like Z-Toad.

Have you ever seen those shows where they test your child by putting them in a controlled situation with a stranger to see what they would do?   It is AMAZING and frightening the number of children that will just go off with a stranger!  I always wanted to test my kids but I have now come to realize that J-Toad would probably have a heart attack on the spot.

Yesterday I asked J-Toad to go get the mail.   The distance from the house to the mailbox is not huge.  I can SEE my mailbox from the house.   I bet I could even throw a football the distance.   He asks Z-Toad to stand in the door and watch him.   I watch as he runs to the mailbox and then watch as he freaks out and runs back arms flailing back to the house. 

Me: "J-Toad is there a problem?"
J-Toad:  "Didn't you see the car coming?"
Me:  "I saw the car driving up the road."
J-Toad:  "What if they had been stalking me and waiting for me to go get the mail so they could take me?"

And with that my job is done and my neurosis has been passed to the next generation.
Your Welcome.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ha! My mom and I were just talking about how my poor kids inherited the family anxiety gene. Maybe it's a little bit environmental, too? {They watch those sorts of shows as well.}