April 10, 2011


Z-Toad is 7.5 and the next 11.5 years for him and I are going to be a ride.
Buckle Up!!   I think it is gonna get a wee bit bumpy.
He is essentially me in male form (that statement alone should make you shudder).
He is pretty much a fun kid to be around - tells crazy stories - and has a wicked sense of humor.
Oh - and surprise - he is somewhat sarcastic. 
I have absolutely no idea where he gets it from :)
And Yes - I consider that a positive trait - most days it is the only thing between myself and the men with the white coats.

As of late Z-Toad has been a tad bit, um, difficult.  That he gets from his father.

When I pick the toads up from school I sometimes chat with the other mom's about the stupidity amazing school they attend and all the completely ridiulous relevant projects they must complete.
I expect the toads to behave while I chat and at the very least follow the school rules as if they were actually still in school being watched by their teachers.  This is where I am naive. 

Z-Toad has informed me that he can only be "good" for so many hours and he uses that all up at school because he is afraid of going to the principals office.  And, evidently, he is NOT afraid of me.

I told the toads that from now on when I picked them up they are NOT to go off of the tar (which is the school rule).  If they did not behave they would lose their computer. 
This rule had to be amended to "anything that plugs in at some point in its life to be active" or I had to go through.
"So I can use my DS?"
"So I can use my IPhone?"
"I can use your IPhone?"
"The Wii?"
"The X-Box?"
No.   You can use the Playstation.
"Mom we don't have a playstation"
"Really?  That is too bad cause that is the one thing you are NOT grounded from."  
Ha!  Damn I am good I think.  I got my 7 year old.
Do not judge - some days it is all about the little victories!

Fast Forward to the very next day and Surpise! Z-Toad has lost all his electronic stuff.   J-Toad was extremely well behaved cause I am pretty sure that he himself requires recharging.

Of course now that Z-Toad had lost access to all that is holy in his life he had nothing left to lose and out came his wild self.
I upped the punishment to "If you don't behave now you can not go to L-Toad's house tomorrow."   He has been waiting F O R E V E R to be invited over.  
Apparently I signed up for the I take your kid 5 times and you take mine Once In A Friggin' Blue Moon Program.   That would get him to behave for sure I thought!

Z-Toad decides to tempt fate - and my hand - by walking a pretend tightrope at the very edge of the tar.   And then Oops! He lost is balance and took a few steps into the punishment zone.  Not once but like 7 times.
Did anyone see that coming?
"Sorry, Mom, but it doesn't count cause I lost my balance."
Oh yes, yes it did count and now you are not going over L-Toad's house (damnit damnit damnit - now I want to cry!) I say as I wrap my hand around his wrist in a totally lovingly and in no way cutting off his circulation manner.
"Mom, mom, your gonna make my hand fall off, you are holding it too tight"

Then the funniest thing happened but I lost my balance cause I was walking on very edge of the tar and my fingernails somehow dug into his wrist.   Huh.  Go figure.
"Ow, Ow, Ow, Mom!!!"
"Sorry, Z-Toad, but it doesn't count I lost my balance."
He looks at me.  I look at him
"What?" I say with my best innocent look and arched eyebrow.
And that is a WIN for Mom!!!   So off I go in my delusional victory.

On the way home he informs me that it is his teacher's birthday tomorrow and can we make cupcakes. Considering he can use all the brownie points he can get, I agree to stop at the store on the way home.

Flash forward to the 3 of us standing in line to checkout with:
Cake Mix

I have not let go of his wrist in the market either - cause between no electronics and no L-Toad visit - he is a hurricane just waiting to be unleashed.

It is almost our turn........

Z-Toad says:
"Mom"  then looks at the cake mix and frosting.
"Didn't you say you were going on a DIET?"
For a moment I contemplated squeezing his hand even tighter although I wasn't sure I had that much strength left.   I even thought that he possibly said that completely innocently until I looked down at him and he looked up at me and said:

"What?" with the innocent face and arched eyebrow.



Anonymous said...

Aren't boys fun? I sent mine away for a week with The TO. I highly recommend that to everyone.

Anonymous said...
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