September 12, 2010

Who Got the Life Lesson?

You've all seen the movie Shallow Hal, right?   Jack Black (who I adore) gets brainwashed by Tony Robbins (freakishly tall with equally large hands.... I wonder if that old saying is true..... Big hands......... Big shoes, right ;)~

So Robbins makes Jack Black see a woman based on her inner beauty.   He falls for Gweneth Paltrow's character.  Black sees Paltrow - the rest of the world sees the chunky chub express (Paltrow in a fat suit).  Black's best friend reverses the spell so he can see the ALL of her.  Black realizes he was happy even with {{GASP}} the fat girl and wins her back.   Everyone's happy.  

Z-Toad (6 years old) was watching the movie and wanted it explained.  I thought this would be a great lesson for him.  Don't judge a book by its cover.  Just because a girl is pretty doesn't mean she is nice (actually she is probably a bitch).   You should look to see what is inside a person - inner beauty - blah blah blah.   I thought I did a pretty good job of it.  And that is where I should have stopped.   But did I?   Of course I didn't I am female so we can NOT let it go.   So what was his life lesson became mine.

Me: "So Z-Toad do you understand".  

Queue thoughtful moment on his adorable face (my kids totally rock the cuteness factor)........

Z-Toad:  "So Daddy married you because you have a big heart and you are nice."   I believe if this had been uttered by my husband it would have been grounds for divorce and I may have allowed him to still breathe....... with a ventilator...... with the plug just outta reach......crawl for it babe!      

Me: "So .... {child who never wishes to receive another present }...... what does that mean?"   I say while trying not to let the little self-esteem I have left shrink like a penis exposed to frigid waters.

Z-Toad: "Mom you are gorgeous." 

Quick Recovery!   Way to Rebound!   Santa's elves get ready to dump a truckload here!
I am ready to high-five my little shit precious child.

And then in true 6 year old fashion (or is it because he is male?)..... he feels the need to repeat his comment but now with a disclaimer.

Z-Toad: "Mom your face is gorgeous."

Elves - you've officially been laid off for Christmas 2010.     



vixen kitten said...

OMG I'm spitting Pellegrino at the screen!

What a great first post!


Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha!!! If our kids ever got together...TROUBLE.

Welcome to blogging! You're a natural!

Beryl said...

Vix sent me over!!!

I have four myself and they come up with some great stuff.Usually it's loudly conveyed in front of a group of people I don't know very well with my sig O no where in sight.

In my latest public spectacle, an older brother of one of my six year old's classmate informed said classmate who in turn relayed the information to my six year old who in turn shared it with me and a crowd of parents at a soccer game. Apparently not only am I a milf, but he was completely unaware that elfs had moms.

vixen kitten said...


Beryl, you are a MILF! You can't help it!

love you girlie.


justme said...

Loved the post.

When Matthew was 4, he commented on the haircut I had just rec'd that day. He said, "Mommy, your hair looks really nice today."
My husband said, "yeah,he really knows how to suck up, doesn't he?"
I said, "yeah, you could really learn a lot from a 4 yr old."

Lynn said...

I look forward to more of these stories. your family kills me. you're so funny. I can count on you to always make me smile

BluEyedBader said...


That is great... my daughter decided to tell my wife that she is fat.. but that was ok she did not mind having a fat mom...

The things that kids come up with.

BTW, Vix sent me over as well...

Tracie said...

VK - thank you so much for making me feel welcomed on your blog and sending people here - xo

Snuggle - I totally agree. I have a room we can lock them in :)

Beryl - LOL - I love it!

JustMe - yes, my 6 year old is way more smooth than hubby.

Lynn - Hi Girl!!! I really miss you guys :(

BlueEyedBader - Love your blog - gonna add you to my favs ;)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Tracie!!! Love the blog look! Seriously so cute.

And I get disclaimered all the time... why do you think I blog? I need the self esteem boost!

From Tracie said...

Ouch!! I haven't gotten this treatment from my daughter, but she dishes it out to my husband all the time, so I'm sure it is only a matter of days before "mom you are so pretty" turns into "mom you looked so pretty in those pictures from before I was born, what happened?"

Serene said...

Great opening post. I was cracking up. Can't wait to hear more stories. Say hi to Mom!