September 23, 2010

Don't Make Me Go All Mac-n-Cheese On You!

A few months ago Mr. Toad was making mac-n-cheese for dinner.  In this toadstool we take it up a notch and add hotdogs cut-up into it (god, it just makes me wanna barf just typing that).  We spare no expense in this house.  Hmmmm - ya think Mrs. Obama would be pleased with our food choices?   Yeah, the hell with her.  

Actually it was one of those nights in which there is a little bit of everything left over so everyone kind of does their own thing.   Z-Toad and I were actually finished eating.   Mr. Toad was making the m-n-c for himself and J-Toad.   Z-Toad was on the kitchen floor with some friggin truck or whatever.  Z-Toad has been told 1,353,204 times to NOT play in the kitchen.

Mr. Toad took the pot off the stove to drain it and because we have such a HUGE Martha Stewart type kitchen - on the long walk between the stove and the sink (um I think 2') - he and Zach bumped into each other. The water did some sloshing around came up out the pot and landed on Z-Toad.   He was actually very lucky that Mr. Toad managed to keep the whole pot from not falling on him!   It was pretty serious.  

Worth Noting: In the following days, the MIL's first question was "Why were you making dinner, honey?   Didn't you just get home from work?"  Hmph.   I was tempted to say "Before I chain Mr. Toad up for the night he has to make dinner for everyone!  You don't expect me to get up off the couch and put my bon-bon's down, do you?".    Oh dear readers she is SO her own post(s)! 

Z-toad screamed so loud and was writhing on the floor "Get it off!  Get it off".  I grabbed him - got him into the bathroom and stripped his clothes off.   Not pretty - his skin on his lower back had literally melted away - blood - everywhere.  I am the calm one in a crisis.  You want me around when something happens.  Mr. Toad - not so much - he wanted to bring in a helicopter and have him airlifted to the hospital.

Mr. Toad sent J-Toad into the bathroom with ice.    By now Z-Toad has stopped crying.  There was a momentary "discussion" about the ice as I did not think it should go on a burn.  The ice ended up all over the room in the heat (no pun intended) of the moment.  Ended up getting towels - soaking them with water and putting them on his body.   Called the doctor.  Called mom to tell her to expect J-toad.

Now Mr. Toad is apologizing over and over and over and over again.  Z-Toad is actually calm.  He asked "Am I gonna die?" "Can you see my bones?"  Mr. Toad is still apologizing over and over and over and OVAH!   Z-Toad is getting all frustrated and says "Dad, enough, it was an accident, just let it go."   Meanwhile J-Toad just keeps pointing out that he had absolutely nothing to do with what happened.  Assured him that he was not in any trouble.  J-Toad had to leave the room - he does not do blood.   And we are off to the ER.

Do you know that a child with a burn gets you IMMEDIATELY into the ER?   The nurse could barely look at me to check us in.   Z-toad was really really calm so she thought "great here we go - what does he have a tummy ache?".   I whip up the back of his shirt - here look at this ms. bitchy -  hmph - holy hell that got her to jump out of her chair.  OH MY - Nurse, Nurse!   Poor Z-toad is like "what - what?"  A burn also gets you a ton of questions from the nurses/doctors!  Go figure.    Z-Toad ended up with 3rd degree burns on 8% of his body.  No plastic surgery needed (although that may change cause a little section did not heal entirely).

Z-Toad was AWESOME during this whole thing.  Not one tear.   They had him lying on a stretcher on his belly and the nurse came by with some drugs.  Z-Toad put his hand up and said "No thank you the pain isn't that bad."  LOL    But it looked horrid.    They loved him.   Goddess here was taking pics cause of the whole scrapbooking thing (Scrapbooking 101: Never let an event/crisis go to waste.  Exceptions: Death or what looks like it may result in death:  meaning subject is turning blue, foaming at the mouth, or if a limb is hanging on by a thread).   And you know what - taking pics of your child's injury gets you questioned even more!!!  Z-Toad just looked at them and said "She scrapbooks, duh!!!".  Very funny.  

Scrapbooking also allows you to record events in young tadpoles lives as you see them *wink wink*.  So when it does come time for therapy they will know which parent to blame.

All in I think we were there about 6 hours.  We waited in the little waiting area for Mr. Toad to bring the car around front to go home.  Z-toad was leafing through a magazine when he saw a m-n-c ad.  He shows me the page and starts cracking up.   He is an awesome little guy!

So now in our house - when one of the toads acts up I say
"Do you want me to have Daddy make mac-n-cheese"?

And just cause VK suggested I have pics with my posts:

Notice the hair - that is from me - thick, curly, looking like a bush.
Oh, and that is EXACTLY what my ass looks like (refer to previous post).   Except smaller.



Anonymous said...

acccck that sounds bad!

vixen kitten said...

You scrapbookers have NO SHAME!!


You do realize that one day he is going to drag your happy ass to the Dr. Phil show and talk about how you traumatized him for life by showing his butt crack to all of blogland!

Sheesh, and my son thought I was insane when I posted photos of his underwear on my blog.

He wasn't even wearing them at the time!

They were on the floor of his room. *sigh*

Yes, Ms. Goddess...I've yet to live that one down!

Seriously, I'm glad he is ok.

Now go buy him some ice cream for flashing around photos his future g/f will giggle over. Me....I'm off to talk some sense into my son. I'm gonna let him know to just hush his mouth over those underwear pics and count his lucky stars I'm only a blogger and not a scrapbooker too!

Love to you mama,

Anonymous said...

Poor little guy! I can't believe he took it so well. He's cutie pie, too.

My MIL and your MIL could be besties. They could sit around and talk about their poor sons saddled with lazy, horrible wives.

Grimmgirl said...

Oh, that's a scary post! I'm glad your little guy pulled through it all with a smile. He looks like a trooper!

Tracie said...

anon - yes, bad, at least it wasn't my fault - lol.
we can all laugh about it now cause he is fine.

oh - VK - you should see the pics i have - that one is nothing - and they ARE scrapbooked. plus i figure you see more than that when men bend over or the way the kids wear their pants nowadays!

Snuggle - it is really sad that they don't get it!! she will be here this weekend for Z-toad's b-day. oh happy happy joy joy!!

Grimm - yes he is a trooper - thank god!